You're not lazy, you're scared
You aren't lazy or procrastinating, you're scared. You've maybe been told to feel the fear and do it anyway, but what if you could feel just a bit safer before taking action?
Monthly Reflections ❄️ January edition
how this past month felt, went, &/or themed deep-dives
A few years ago, I was staring at my journal at the end of my year, reflecting on the resolutions I set for myself 12 months prior…
health. work. success. relationships. confidence.
Not a single goal met.
It was also the year I met my complete burnout rock-bottom and was slowly trying to rebuild my life and nervous system and really didn’t have the capacity for anything else.
But it didn’t matter to me in the moment.
“I’m worthless” screamed my subconscious, so loudly I swear I could actually hear it out loud.
It’s been a slow and steady recovery journey since then…with formal therapy, support from loved ones, writing, and nervous system exercises being my greatest allies.
Setting and going after big goals
Maybe you’ve set some goals, formed intentions, decided on your word of the year, created the vision board, or claimed identity shifts already for 2026 (or all of the above). Great!
Or maybe you’re like me and haven’t really done any of those
(well, I’ve chosen “CARE” as my word for the year…to both accept care that is given to me and continue to offer care to others…and as a reminder to use care as the remedy against the threat of apathy when so many crazy things are happening right now in the world, but I digress).
Now, instead of resolutions, I tend to like to use the beginning-middle of December to reflect on my current direction and momentum and if I’d like to course-correct in some way and February to get really serious on these reflections. January is my time to float, chill, integrate as much as possible amongst other life responsibilities.
While I was quiet and chilling this past January, but gently trying to get back into some formal writing and content creation as well as accepting more nervous system safe-design clients, I was met with procrastination and the resurfacing of my good old feelings of being worthless.
And under the procrastination…was fear.
“Feel the fear and do it anyway” can be great advice
but what about when forcing through fear becomes more dysregulating and leads to unclear, desperate action?
feel the fear, build some safety first, then do it anyway
Procrastination, writer’s block, low motivation, self-sabotage, and the resultant self-judgment…these can all be signs that there’s actually something you’re fearful of.
For example, in your writing practice or business, if you find yourself procrastinating on a certain task, whether it be a one-off task or always a specific kind of task, it could be because you’re protecting yourself from the fears that might come by following through on that task.
Procrastinating? Here’s how to build some safety first
Procrastination can be a manifestation of the ❄️freeze❄️ response in your nervous system. If that’s the case for you, how can you expect to force yourself into action? And with everything going on in the world, the overwhelm of not knowing what to do and how you can help…it’s no wonder we’d feel frozen from time to time.
Please be gentle with yourself.
My “recipe” for a melting procrastination balm:
Recognize and calm self-judgement
If you find yourself saying things like, ‘Why can’t I just do it? Why can’t I just follow through on what I say I’m going to do?’ If you find yourself judging yourself often, take some intentional steps to lower that judgement a bit. This, of course, starts by being more aware of when you’re judging yourself. If you can’t quite tell or catch on when you are judging yourself, a good thing you can try is to look back and notice certain times throughout your day or week when you were kind of going all about your business, you’re doing stuff or relaxing, and then all of a sudden you got in a bad mood and you couldn’t quite put your finger on why. Ask yourself if self-judgment was playing a part in this case.
Move your energy
Physically or mentally, how can you move some of this energy? some of my favorite ways are by doing some simple, gentle nervous system-supportive exercises, going for a walk, or just taking a break from what I’m doing/focusing on
Take the next smallest step
Now, from this more aware and regulated space, what’s the smallest practical step you can take forward to get your momentum going in the direction you want it to be?
I’m a BIG fan of taking the next smallest step.
Even as someone who often -guilty!- wants to make huge leaps forward…in my output, productivity, relationships, success, healing…I know it’s better and feel a lot better when taking the next small step.
Reminds me of my work as an occupational therapist, especially in the neuro specialization, working with people who’ve experienced things like stroke or spinal cord injury, exercises and interventions are the most productive when we work just a little bit past someone’s current limits or abilities.
Pretty much…taking the smallest steps outside of ones’ comfort zone.
Prompts for deeper reflection:
What are the fears underneath the thing you’re avoiding? What are you afraid of, even if they seem like good things or things you know you want?
What comes up for you when you think of taking the next smallest step? still a bit fearful of taking even that small step? a little more relieved? maybe some self-judgement that you can’t do more? no wrong answers, just being honest with yourself can help support your truly aligned intentions.
How can you soften your fear and support your nervous system better, instead of trying to force yourself through? Make sure to subscribe if you want some more ideas of how to create more calm and resilience in your nervous system:
And, ultimately, let’s consider together…
What if you don’t have to always force action, but can soften your fear first before taking the next right step for you?
Let me know - did this resonate?
What could be possible for you if you let yourself feel safer first before acting?
Sending lots of love,
Katie is a neuro occupational therapist, nervous system specialist, entrepreneur, and web designer helping highly sensitive aspiring entrepreneurs feel safe being seen online and build aligned, embodied business success.
Curious about building your own most gentle business?
Katie, this is a great piece! I write https://dysautonomiajournal.substack.com and encourage the next small step. It's how we move forward, how we learn and grow (in small steps rather than in leaps). I have learned my own body responds best to this. As a coach and woman with lived experience of physical therapy for Dysautonomia, this works.
Giving yourself grace to rest, restore and just be is sometimes the most helpful next step to take.
Well done!
And someone who lives with depression I recognize procrastination as a comfort zone from getting back to it (life).