When it feels like it's time to burn it all down

Why do we crave destroying, rebuilding, or alchemizing what we've spent so much time and energy building?

🪾December edition 🪾 of my
Monthly reflections ~ how this month felt, went, and has been so far

Feel like you want to burn it all down and start fresh right now?

You’re not alone and have I got a hot-ish take for you...

Wanting to “burn it all down” and start fresh comes from perfectionism, stress, masking & burnout, not boredom or disinterest in starting or growing your creative business (although that can also be true, especially if you also have ADHD like me).

Today, no…actually, this entire week…I’ve been procrastinating.

I have a lot of different things I could work on in my business. some really exciting big changes, additions, and an exciting, life-changing beta launch just around the corner for a highly sensitive audience I’m in love with and over-the-moon excited to serve.

But I just couldn’t get into it.

I tried being gentle with myself. I took some time off.

I tried working on things that were “easier” for me to deal with.

I set a timer for 5 minutes just to try to get started on one thing.

These things worked. a little.

But was still left with an unmotivated, blah, uninterested mound of feelings.

I try to tell myself it’s okay. I’m feeling disinterested and that’s ok.

and while I know that’s absolutely true…for me and for everyone…

I didn’t believe it yet.

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Our actions (doing what you can, working on one small thing at a time, setting a timer and doing just 5 minutes of work…)

and our words (telling yourself it’s okay you’re feeling how you’re feeling…)

have an impact on our output, productivity, and success.

But what about our deeper fears, worries, concerns, and effects of trauma, discouragement, and dysregulation?

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When I just sit and be - It comes to me that I’m disinterested because I’m struggling with my dear old friend perfectionism.

I’m afraid of not coming up with the perfect solutions for the projects I’m working on…so my body-brain-nervous system is keeping me safe and not letting me get excited and motivated about the same projects that I was absolutely LIT UP about just a week ago.

So…one thing I did today to process my feelings of perfectionism:

Try some simple things I know can CREATE MORE SAFETY in my nervous system.

How does the nervous system feel “safe”?

There are many things you could do (and many things people will try to convince you you *need* to be doing), frrom breathwork to mantras to EFT tapping.

The problem in attempting to give you a one-size-fits-all valuable answer here is that everyone and every nervous system is truly different, shaped from our genetics and experiences and neurodivergencies and mental health struggles and goals and dreams and trauma….

So, the first most important things for you to know are:

• Don’t force anything that doesn’t feel right.

• Small changes and micro adjustments often do have the biggest impacts (vs. forcing yourself into daily meditation “because you’re supposed to”).

• Check in with how you’re feeling before and after trying each or any of these following suggestions

Micro nervous system hygiene practices you could try that are typically gentle yet effective for many (try 1-2 and see how you feel):

• Gentle sensory input, like some light tapping or rubbing on hands and feet

• Deep slow inhales (without. forcing. too. much!) and passive letting-go sigh exhale

• Squeezing hug or Butterfly hug tapping

• Vision “reset”: stare off into space for a few moments or rub hands together and lightly cover your eyes with your palms

• Tension “release”: tongue circles (run your tongue along the outside of all of your teeth, keeping your mouth closed)

• or, if you’re feeling more anger/activation/fight, doing some push-ups against a wall can be supportive.

And, then, from this more regulated space…sit with how it would feel to actually “burn these things down” and what might actually be more in alignment with who you are now (and better yet, with who you’re becoming).

I got some surprising answers from within when I did this. What about you?

A fun side note about synchronicities and collective experiences

I started loosely thinking about this post around a month ago.

What’s really neat is the number of other writers and creators since who’ve touched on this idea of starting fresh, transforming, burning it all down here on Substack…

Feels validating. confirming that I’m not alone in sensing this shift perhaps…

Here are a few of the posts I’ve seen just this week that have some beautiful, insightful thoughts on this topic if you’d like to go deeper and experience some different perspectives:

You're Crossing Over Thresholds

The Great Unbecoming: When Your Brain Deletes Who You Had to Be

The Year of The Snake

I’m Not Here to Belong. I’m Here to Burn It Down and Rebuild.

Are you feeling this way too? Like something big and life-changing could be right around the corner? Like some things in your current life and business could be burned down or composted or recycled in some way? Or maybe you’re not quite sure yet what it means or at all what the outcome will be?

I’d love to hear more about what you’re thinking, feeling, or experiencing with this

Here with you. Please be gentle with yourself.

Things might need to change. It’s scary but I know you can make it through.

Katie is a neuro occupational therapist, nervous system specialist, entrepreneur, and web designer helping highly sensitive aspiring entrepreneurs feel safe being seen online and build aligned, embodied business success.

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