The sensitive entrepreneur's guide to feeling safe being seen

How to build a foundation of inner safety first, so increased visibility feels like the natural next small step out of your comfort zone...rather than a threat

This is for you if you’re find yourself caught up in comparison, feeling limited by fear of rejection, or having trouble taking those small steps out of your comfort zone.

Inside this post: a peak at my personal “relationship” with social media, what people get wrong about nervous system regulation, what I do to build some safety in my body and mind before taking aligned action, and journal prompts to help you build more safety and confidence before you publish

I never really felt compatible with social media

Until now.

Substack’s not only a dream place for me to continue to express myself through writing. I’ve wanted to be a writer ever since the first time someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.

But Substack has also become for me a stepping stone of sorts into the world of sharing on social media.

I started college in 2006, (WHOA 20 years ago!) around the time when Facebook was becoming really popular and felt like a must-do for any college student. My first week (I got to start my freshman move-in early for band camp 🎺), I signed up and was happy to see what my friends near and far were up to. I even shared a good amount of thoughts and photos myself (and, admittedly, used it sometimes to see what my crush was up to).

But something never really clicked - the thought of almost being forced to share myself online never settled. It just didn’t sit right with me.

But Substack is different. Or maybe I’ve changed. Or both.

The vulnerability that I write and that I read here every day…feels truer, less performative. People here really want to make a difference, share, help, and relate to others without always needing to force it.

I also know it can be pretty tough to discern or distinguish between what you want to say but feel too vulnerable, embarrassed, or scared to share - and what you maybe really should keep to yourself for the sake of your safety and privacy.

It’s hard to know what you should let sit for a day or so and return to when you feel a bit more confident and grounded and what really is pushing your own privacy boundaries.

What helps me often is taking that step back, to just let my mind and system deeply process things, as well as supporting myself in ways that truly help me feel confident and safe being seen.

“Regulating” your nervous system

Regulating is in quotes here because it seems like this term has been used wayyyyy too much and sometimes incorrectly in recent years.

And sometimes there seems to be weird connotations associated with this that mean that the goal of regulation is to always feel calm and have no stress.

Nah that’s not what it’s about at all. At least according to my personal understanding is, after years of working as an occupational therapist specializing in working with people with neurological conditions.

Nervous system regulation is the ability of your nervous system to maintain homeostasis (balance) and effectively and appropriately adapt to internal and external stressors

The truth is, the nervous system isn’t always meant to be calm

And also true - putting yourself out there online can be scary, overwhelming, and discouraging.

What can be supportive is working with your physiology so that you/your body/your nervous system can manage stress more effectively and recover, especially after a stressor is gone.

A lot of the nervous system education and coaching I do with my design clients, and the neuro interventions I do with my occupational therapy clients, aren’t just things like breathing exercises and giving yourself a butterfly hug (although absolutely these can be very helpful too!). My approach often has more to do with how you can actually strengthen pathways and parts of your nervous system, almost just how you might strengthen your muscles, to help you become more resilient and tolerate those scary steps outside of your comfort zone a little better.

Building safety first: NeRvOuS sYsTeM practices

So, here are some of my favorite practices I use to help feel a bit more of this confidence, especially when I’m feeling a bit scared before publishing. These are also great when I find myself falling into the comparison trap too frequently or deeply.

1. Grounding (but maybe not how you think): Maybe you’ve heard of or practiced grounding practices like visualizing your legs and feet as roots or actually walking barefoot on the ground. These are great and fun and can also be supportive in a nervous system way. But something else that might happen when you’re stressed is difficulty connecting to your physical self. Giving some sensory input to your feet and/or hands when you’re overwhelmed can be very calming because it brings your attention to the physical (vs. your thoughts) and can help your brain get a “clearer picture” of where your body is in space. This clearer picture can actually help your brain help you regulate more effectively.

2. Breathing (but maybe not how you think): Breathwork seems to be pretty popular and truly can be helpful and powerful for some people. But sometimes a little bit actually does go a long way. Instead of forcing yourself into specific breath patterns when your body is already on edge and activated and maybe wants to breathe quickly and shallowly for a reason (like when you’re scared), it can be supportive to first do a diaphragm stretch (espeically if you’ve been sitting for too long!)

3. Vision & Posture: How long have you been staring at a screen today? How long have you been slumped over, even just slightly? You probably already know too much of these aren’t good for you. But did you know that your visual system is somewhat of a part of your central nervous system (like your brain and spinal cord are) and therefore one of the quickest ways you can help your system regulate? On the other hand, your vision can also have an impact in the opposite direction, like when you feel blah and grumpy after staring at a screen for too long. Even just taking a few breaths to look out a window in the distance regularly can make a huge difference in how you feel

Subscribe and get your free guide: “Feel Safe Being Seen” workbook with more targeted nervous system exercises to support your confidence with being visible online

Or upgrade to get the complete Grounded Founder visibility bundle for the cost of 3 cappuccinos (use code SUBSTACKGIFT at checkout to get the discount!)

Journal prompts & gentle Substack edits

I love journaling, especially after using a regulating practice like the ones above. Doing one of these exercises first can help you see things from a clearer, balanced perspective.

So when you find yourself over-editing or questioning what you’re saying or about to post, here are some questions to ask yourself to feel a bit more confident in what you’re saying:

1. If my biggest fan, or someone who really loves me for me, were here right now, what would you say and how would you say it?

2. Your post/note definitely does NOT have to be perfect. But are your intentions clear to the best of your ability?

3. Could you change anything to make your post/note maybe less “impressive,” but more true and connecting/supportive for your audience?

Synchronicities & others’ perspectives

A little fun side note: This post has been sitting in my draft folder for a bit. A cool thing that seems to keep happening to me recently is the number of posts I read that discuss similar topics to the same posts I’m already working on… SO MUCH SO that I have to double check I didn’t accidentally hit “publish” on one of my drafts haha

These amazing posts from other Substackers hit this visibility topic from different, beautiful angles if you’d like to read some other writer’s perspectives:

Don’t Look at Me!!

On visibility

The act of slow visibilty

Leave a comment if you’ve recently written about this topic as well!

I truly hope this was supportive for you. Let me know what you think! Did you try any of the nervous system practices?

Your voice online can be most powerful when it feels true and when you feel safe.

As always, thank you for being here, and for choosing depth and slowness in a sometimes fast-paced world.

Sending lots of love,

Katie is an occupational therapist, nervous system specialist, entrepreneur, and web designer helping highly sensitive aspiring entrepreneurs feel safe being seen online and build aligned, embodied business success.

A bit of beautiful client love 🥹

Have questions about what it’d be like to work together? Send me a message!